Loooooooows March 26, 2010

I can say I honestly don’t feel good when my levels get too high or too low, but the difference between the two is pretty drastic. High is a little harder to recognize because it’s things like feeling sleepy and seems to happen gradually. Lows, however, wreak havoc on my body. I had two this week that were a big pain.

1) Was picking up some refills from the pharmacy, a common occurrence, and felt the drop. I didn’t test but knew I needed to get out of the store and get something. So after I waited I went to the check-out and had started shaking and sweating. Suddenly the little credit card machine was VERY hard to use. I was embarrassed, but made it out and tested and dealt with it in the parking lot.

2) Happened in the afternoon at work. A meeting got extended for a disappointing announcement. I had to rush to my Wednesday lunch with my “little sister” (from Big Brothers / Big Sisters), so didn’t eat. Then she and I played outside and I was running around after a kickball a lot. By the time I got back to the office I was late for another meeting, but had started shaking and sweating again. Lovely. I tested and was sitting at 55. I grabbed a sugary soda (ick!) from the machine and just told them it’d be a few minutes before I could really contribute anything.

I feel out of control with lows. And often times I seem to over compensate because it seems like it takes so long to come up. I guess I’m trying to say I’m still learning…

Thoughtful article March 23, 2010

I love reading articles by fellow-diabetics. It makes me feel like I’m not alone in some random journey. Don’t get me wrong – I have great friends and family. But normally what they can offer is empathy and not “man, I hate/like when I have to deal with that.” Today I read this article and really enjoyed it. I want friends to care and be involved, but it’s hard to share all the details sometimes…

Sporty diabetic March 21, 2010

One of the declarations I made when I found out I was diabetic was to decide that, while I might have to make some accommodations, my life activities were not going to change because I’m diabetic. And they pretty much haven’t. However, the “accommodations” mostly mean being aware. I need to think about the activities first and try to guess the extent of them and what I should do. I need to pay attention and listen to my body and so forth. This weekend was the first real weekend of spring and the start of some outdoor activities.

Wait, I want to digress for a moment and talk about myself and sports. I was the kid in school who was often chosen last – or at least in the bottom three – for sports. I was always overweight and I’m not very athletically gifted, so I guess it’s understandable (though why can’t a teacher just divide kids?). I am, however, a good team member. My clap/cheer reflexes, for example, are very high. I’m also a girl (normally fewer in sports) and a willing and reliable participant. So, as an adult, I play some sports – volleyball, kickball, softball, football…that’s it so far, I guess. I enjoy them all because it’s “social” and I’ve met some of the most amazing people and made some great friendships.

So, back to the point, this weekend was the start of some outdoor sports. These started with kickball on Saturday. I love kickball (and hope to make it back to my favorite position – first base – you reading this, Coach?). Our game was early though and I got there a few minutes late. With an insanely big team, I only got to kick once. And my kick was fine…however, I do seem to mentally want to stop and watch where the ball goes before I start running. Um?! So, I am going to try harder to break that. Either way, I had a great time in the sun, but the actual movement was pretty minimal and no real thought was given to the big D in my life.

Today was football with a brand new team (for me) and was a different story. Football requires that three girls play at all times and we only had four show up. This meant a lot of running. See previous post that I want to get in better shape. 🙂 So, I didn’t really plan anything, but ended up running around for 45 minutes and ended up red-faced and sweaty. I did catch a ball in the end-zone (score!) so didn’t feel too bad that I was a little slow following the girl I was paired with in the gender plays. I guess I was a little embarrassed about the redness, but I know it happens for me at any size I’ve been (and pre-disease) so just have to accept it as part of who I am. However, i did realize when I got back to my car that my levels were low. I did a quick test and had to stop for a snack.

The lesson learned is not to not play. It’s that I might need to adjust my pump like I do with other exercise and always keep a snack or glucose tablets with me. It’s a good thing to know and to deal with in the future. I gave my friend/coach a head’s up too in case I need to drop out of the game to get my levels up.

What a weird disease this is. Today I’m feeling too young to have it, even though I know many people can start out with it as toddlers.

Spring cleaning myself… March 19, 2010

Spring makes me happy. It makes me want to get outside and walk and play and have fun. I start getting antsy for summer concerts and festivals. I actually want to go outside and trim hedges and go to farmer markets and such and such. Inside I want to clean with the iPod pumping and the windows and door open. It’s wonderful. Oh, and I didn’t even mention kickball – one of my favorite social sports ever!

Part of this also becomes very healthy for me – I want to eat better and lose weight. Weight has been a lifelong battle for me thus far and will continue to be one. My diabetes does require some planning around all the activities – keeping something with me for lows, adjusting bolus amounts for increased exercise, figuring out how to carry all the supplies with a lighter uniform. It’s obviously worth it to me, but it’s interesting to think about.

I have realized one of my issues with food is that it’s very social to me. For more than 50% of my meals I’m eating with friends. I enjoy this but sometimes get caught up in the socializing and eat more than I would if I were just concentrating on when I’m full or not. So a new initiative for me to is to force myself to think about what my hunger level is before a meal starts, reassess half-way through and then again when done. I started this week and it’s not always easy, but it is giving a little more thought to what is going into my body. My levels seem to have improved from this method too.

A lot of posts coming up will probably be around weight and the battle! I’m a soldier and if I can handle diabetes I can make weight-loss happen…I just know it!

Can’t have it? Really? Bummer. March 17, 2010

I don’t like the idea of there being foods one can’t eat. That doesn’t mean I’m illogical when it comes to thinking about things. I know I’m not going to eat more than one bite of things that are super sweet like fudge or peanut brittle. And really I don’t mind that – other than the occasional piece of chocolate, dessert has never been my favorite part of a meal. However, the longer I have diabetes the more I learn about my own bodies reactions to foods and am discovering some things I may just have to give up.

The latest is bagels. I like them and they are brought into my office by the boxes on Wednesday. I’ve honestly only partaken of them three times but each time that little piece of food has wreaked havoc on my day. I have a carb-to-insulin ratio to know what to bolus. It doesn’t work. It goes sky high and acts like that insulin pumping into my stomach doesn’t exist. And it continues to climb. This causes the reaction I’m not sure how to handle. Do I keep blousing and become subject to a low or do I wait another two hours to test and release more?

When my blood sugar is too high or too low it makes being productive at work harder. My body feels out of whack. It is out of whack. And so I have to think about it and use an “educated guess” and keep testing.

So, bagel = not feeling good. Not worth it…

Zzzzz March 16, 2010

One of my many questions before I got a pump was about how I was going to be able to sleep with this device attached to my body. I ended up buying some little pouches so I don’t have to worry about what the clothing is. However, it still gets to me sometimes. Sometimes the pouch closure bugs my skin or I get a little tangled in rolling around. But, mostly I can deal. The one thing that still gets to me is when the pump starts running low on insulin or a battery. It starts vibrating until I take it out and hit the key combination to make it stop. And then a couple of hours later it does it again. I just want to sleep!

Spa day… March 15, 2010

I don’t think I ever forget I’m diabetic, but I sometimes don’t think about how trying something new is going to work out. Yesterday was a good example of this. I had scheduled months ago my first body exfoliation/wrap and a massage. I’ve had massages since I got my pump, and just disconnected for the duration.

So I started out in the sauna yesterday and I disconnected my pump and put it in the basket with my clothes. No biggee. Then I got out (after dripping an insane amount of sweat – 120 degrees is HOT) and laid down face first and had this tea scrub stuff put all over my backside. The lady then told me she had to go get something and while she was gone I realized I was about to have to flip over and have this scrub put on my front side…which was not going to work well with my site. I shifted and pulled it out before she got back and threw it to the basket.

After that things were mostly fine. I guess I wasn’t really prepared for how long I was going to be disconnected though. I had planned to run a lot of errands afterward, but by the time I finished all the treatments my bg was 200. I did a quick stop and then got home and put in a new set.

It was annoying. I think I would skip the wrap treatment in the future just because of this unless I come up with a better solution. Maybe I could cover it and tape it somehow?

Overall it was nice to pamper myself, but it was a bit of a damper to have to deal with the diabetes in a different way.

Traveling with diabetes March 12, 2010

I have always procrastinated packing (and unpacking, come to think of it). However, I’ve noticed that now when I pack I start with my diabetes supplies. It’s the one thing I bring a lot of extras of. Days in advance I have to check to make sure I have plenty of supplies and don’t need any refills and then I start them in the suitcase first (well, except Insulin). I have had my luggage lost before too, so I try not to have to check luggage – especially if there is a change in planes or stop along the way. I’m not generally flying some place where I couldn’t get replacement supplies, but the idea of the hassle of having to do that seems extraordinary to me and so I become a little paranoid about it.

I also have to think of my pump when I’m going through security once I get to the airport. I normally have my insertion set above my waist so I reach up under my shirt, disconnect it from my body and drop it in a bin with my purse. And then I worry things are going to get stopped because I haven’t taken insulin out of my bag and it is a liquid. Is that what I should do? Probably, I’m not sure why I haven’t. I do get some odd looks, but so far no one has said anything to me about it.

It’s kind of overwhelming. My day-to-day life is pretty covered, but when I have to change the routines and such, diabetes has to come to the front of my mind and remind me that it can’t be forgotten.

Too, when I travel I generally see friends and family I’m not around day-to-day so my diabetes is still new to them and thus I answer a lot more questions about it than I normally do. I do appreciate the questions and am glad people want to know and understand more, but it’s another reminder that this disease is, well, part of me for the long haul.

I love good news ahead March 8, 2010

Finger-pricks are one of the things that tire me out – this sounds awesome –