I often wonder how to explain to friends what it feels like when the numbers are “off.” In theory, it seems like it wouldn’t be too hard, but then I still feel that folks don’t believe me when I want to take a break, leave a party early, change plans and other such things. I really try my hardest to not use my disease as an excuse when it’s not the cause. But more frequently, lately, it really is the cause. Thus, I need to up my diabetes focus/care. More working out and better attention to diet. I still haven’t plugged back in my CGM. I know my doc won’t be happy about that when I see her next week. I really want the results without the pain. Yes, it hurts that much.
This morning I went to the lab to get my blood work done for next week’s endo appointment. I was thinking of all the things I’ve become a pro at that I really wish I weren’t. Stabbing things into my belly, getting blood out of a
turnip finger, operating at work when I’m in a high or low fog, showing nurses which arm and which vein they can get blood from without causing fist-sized bruises, managing medicines and pharmacy trips, scheduling appointments, estimating carbohydrates, sliding blood into a test strip. I see the blood theme. Bloody mess, I say!
So, how do I describe it? Foggy. Sometimes it even looks foggy.